I Don't Like Mondays........

Wow! Sunday night what a night, we were up most of the night. No! and before you ask I am not down the pub bragging about my lovemaking skills!

Kayla did not only have an emotional roller coaster ride throughout Sunday but the worst episode of nocturnal pain ever. It took everything in the medicine box to hit the pain, plus 4 hot baths!

It would have only been 3 but after the 3rd Kayla asked for a massage with a nice scented oil. I duly obliged. Now because of all the bathing recently in nearly boiling water, Kayla's skin is a little dry to say the least. I used quite a bit of a "Neals Yard" product (Exotic skin oil.....Anagram for "what a wiff!") At the end of it Kayla turned to me and in true Andy from little Britain fashion said,

" I don't like it ........I stink!"

Off she went for hot bath number 4. When she returned she looked like a cross between a Lobster and a freckly Prune! It did the job though as she soon fell asleep (due to the heat and exhaustion) upside down on our bed.

Monday came and Kayla was tired but ready for some Malted Milk Biscuits!!! as all that swimming during night must have made her hungry.

I decided to phone the "Iain Rennie Hospice at Home" Nurses (who operate in the Bucks area and are caring for Kayla and me) I updated them and sought their advice on the nocturnal pain. Nurse R is great, she arranged for a Doctors visit and repeat prescriptions for Kayla's depleted pain relief armory.

Our GP arrived and examined Kayla.

Doc: "You look a little red and feel hot, do you have a temperature?

Me: "No She's spent the night immersed in hot water!"

Doc: "You look kind of shriveled are you feeling old?"

Me: "Its the 17 bath foams and the 1000 degree water"

Doc: "Is that a rash around your mouth and cleavage?"

Me: "No Doctor, they are Malted Milk Biscuit crumbs!"

In all seriousness our GP (Bless him he is fantastic) did not give Kayla the big medical "I know best" examination. He sat at her bedside and talked to her like a family friend. She explained he listened. The upshot was an increase in potency of her medication.

I wish that you could get hot water and Radox Lavender bath essence on the NHS, this nocturnal bathing lark is getting expensive!

I escorted the GP to the door. He turned and faced me as I thanked him. "Keep up the good work , you seem to be coping" he commented, as he left. Am I becoming paranoid or did he look at me rather strangely as he spoke?

I closed the door and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Bloody hell! I looked like a cross between a Zombie and "Worzel Gummage" I am amazed he did not give me 50p for a coffee as I let him into the house. I had a beard and hair that a hard-core dosser would be proud of! I should not be here caring for my wife I should be in the local Shopping Center armed with a pathetic looking skinny dog selling the "Big Issue!" whilst sipping on killer strength lager. Eeewwww!

Armed with a razor and some shower gel it was my turn in the bathroom!