The Good....The Bad.....and the Bathtub

Slowly and carefully I removed the tiny rolled up parchment for the owl's leg. The owl screeching and trying to peck me as I retrieved the message.

"Thursday 2 Feb, 11 am, Royal Marsden.......be there or else!"

Hmmm I thought maybe it's a clue, maybe the key bunch is there! Finally the mystery will be solved if I find the keys I will solve the mystery!

The door suddenly exploded inwards and there with its mouth gaping wide with it's horrible unblinking eyes fixed upon me was the beast! The slimey, huge, blue, knobbly Goldfish was once again thwarting my attempt to find the keys.

Instead of calling my name it was just bleeping....bleeping....bleeping.

I opened my eyes, heart still racing, and felt for the alarm clock. I got out of bed, rubbing my eyes I looked down at Kayla she was still sleeping. Last night had not been as bad as some of the more painful nights but she had still been up numerous times. In addition she still had a lot of medicine in her system, so getting her up and out of the house by 9am would be easier said than done. I went for a shower and tried to fathom out the meaning of the huge key bunch and that bloody crazy ugly blue fish!

Today we were back at the Royal Marsden. This time to see a professor of Urology. He was going to explain his part in the scheme of things and if called upon exactly what he would be doing. To be honest I was much more focused on finding out the biopsy results. Kayla was also very subdued and I fully understood why. If the pathology results were bad especially the nodules taken from the "omentum" (boy I am pants at spelling) then the option of surgey would be a "no go" and I did not want to contemplate what option B would offer.

08:30 hours, MJ arrived, even she to seemed a little apprehensive, even the 200 sandwiches drinks and fruit she was carrying looked apprehensive! Lets get this show on the road. We left perfectly on time and within 10 minutes we were stuck in the first traffic jam of the journey. This gave me time to think (worry). Would we get the results today? From whom? The Gyn Onc Consultant was away, surley if we had bad news coming the Urologist wouldn't be the bearer of gloom? Would he?

I looked at Kayla luckily she was sleeping. Clearing my mind of all worries and questions, I endeavourer to get us to the Royal Marsden for whatever awaited us, safely and on time.

Like every Hospital out-patients is a crazy, crazy place. Very busy, noisy and lots of coming and goings. We were soon ushered into a room and awaited the "prof". The professor popped his head around the door and appologised for the wait but said he had to talk to Kayla's Gyn Onc team before he could talk to us. OMG! I thought why? what's happened? He returned shortly but for me it seemed like an age. He introduced himself and started to speak. With a combination of exhaustion, anxiety and foreboding the three of us stared at the professor in the same way that Andy from "Little Britain" stares blankly at his TV set! It was only at the point where he mentioned that the worrying omentum biopsies were clear! that all three of us were 100% back in the room and alert.

BENIGN!

BENIGN !

BENIGN!

BEAUTIFULLY BENIGN

BRILLIANTLY BLOODY BENIGN!

Kayla squealed with joy, I almost hyper-ventilated and MJ cartwheeled around the room singing the hallelujah chorus(or did the hyper-ventilation make me imagine that?) anyway what fantastic, brilliant, wonderful news and about time something went right for her.

Surgery we found out is now planned for the 22nd of this month.

After this meeting Kayla needed to see the Gyn Onc Specialist Nurse on a matter of some delicacy.......Woman's stuff........ post laproscopy and EUA stuff........ Downstairs stuff

(enough information already!)

Anyway she was checked out and nothing serious was thought to be happening. Just one more visit to the Marsden and one more opportunity for my wife to expose herself to some passing stranger.... well doctor! She says that she has now lost all dignity and no longer fears the examination room. In fact she says that on her next vist she will go naked from the waist down in order to save time!!!!!

apparently we men have it sooooooooooo easy.

On the way out of the Hospital Kayla bumped into a friend that she had never met. Yes it is possible! A lady called Zoe a web-friend from the Hystersisters (check out the link) had told Kayla that she would be at the Marsden that day and had described her handbag??? Kayla spotted the handbag!!!!! and a quick meet and greet ensued. What a small world eh?

On the way home the Kayla's sitting position in the car must have pissed off "Tommy the Turnip". He pressed on things that really made Kayla squeal. She rated it on a 1-10 pain scale at 11! and more acte than "crowning" during labour (Phew it's right you know. It is lucky we men get it easy, the last thing I would want to do whilst giving birth is wear a bloody crown!) Anyway there we are doing 100mph along the M40 with Kayla swigging mouthfulls of oramorph desperate to get home and horizontal.

Once home Kayla sprinted towards the bedroom howling like a banshee. I know the drill and ran a hot bath. Kayla comes out of our bedroom clutching her aromatherapy (witchcraft) pots and knocks up a quick "eye of newt wing of bat and plunges into the mixture. I am very concerned having never seen her in such acute pain. I phone the Iain Rennie Nurses and they will come and see Kayla with regard to easing her pain. 20 mins later Kayla is in bed still in some pain but nowhere as intense as earlier and by the time the IR Nurse arrives, Kayla does not need an injection.

Tough, brave, clever and very pleasing to the eye...... my wife never ceases to amaze me.